Friday, September 12, 2008

A Closer Look At... The Best Song That Barely Exists.

Did you know that there's a machine that can tell what music you like? It's true. I can't explain all the science of it, but there's a program that analyzes music and determined that hit songs all fall into one of six groups and moreover, determined that if a song you like doesn't fall into one of those six groups, it's not likely to be a hit, ever in the world.

Tough break, iconoclastic musicians who want to change the world with your sound. You may appeal to 3 or 4 people in the Bay Area, but that's about it for you.

See, I'm thinking about music today, because I was listening on the way into work to "The Best Song That Barely Exists," that song being I Am Not Your Broom, and that got me wondering. What, I wondered was the shortest song to ever make the top 40?

So I checked it out, because if the lawyering thing doesn't work out, and the writing thing never pans out, then eventually I'm going to move onto my third career option, that of Guiness World-Record Confirmer, so I've got to be ready for it.

And it turns out that the shortest song to ever hit the top 40 is this one:

"Little Boxes," By "The Womenfolk," a song which, it turns out, also the Theme Song for "Weeds." Which would make you think, maybe, that "Weeds" remade the song for its theme, but you'd be wrong; the "Weeds" version was the original version, and the shortest-charting-version ever by The Womenfolk was actually a remake of the version used for "Weeds."

Here's the original version:

Also, I guarantee you that you've never heard that song before because nobody has ever watched "Weeds."

I also learned that the shortest modern song ever to hit the charts is Zac Efron's "What I've Been Looking For," It's 79 seconds long -- 79 seconds I'll never get back, and neither will you if you listen:

That's why I posted the picture of Zac with this. Not to draw in the demographically-desirable tween crowd and make them link to my blog to drive it ever higher in the rankings. Not at all. Heaven forbid I do something so crassly commercial.

Read The Original Post, and listen to the song I Am Not Your Broom, here.

Click here to see all the other topics I’ve ever discussed!


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