Your old crummy cell phone needs to go. It's been dropped on the ground, got coffee spilled on it, sat under your car seat for a week, and... is that macaroni on it? Please say you were trying to "bling" it and that's not your lunch. I don't care if it's true. Just say it.
Upgrade your old macaroni phone (Macaphoni?) (I crack me up.) through BestInCellphones.com, which gets you the best online cell phone deals you can imagine. Right now, they've got the biggest selection imaginable of free cell phones.
Wait, that needs more than italics. It needs it's own line:
free cell phones.
And, what the heck, all caps:
FREE CELL PHONES
That's free AT&T cell phones, free T-Mobile, Free Verizon Wireless, Free Sprint, Free Alltel... free free free free free.
They'll even go better than free on some. What's better than free? YOU MAKING MONEY, which you can do through their Cash Back deals -- get more cash back from the rebates than you paid for the phone. They're even throwing in Bluetooth Headsets as a bonus... again, for free.
Which means you could talk to people and leave the phone in your pocket... away from the macaroni.