We say things have value, or are worth something, but really something has two kinds of values: What it will sell for, and what it's worth to you.
Those aren't necessarily the same thing.
What a thing will sell for is what we usually think of as value or worth for a thing. Which is why people might be excused for thinking that The Scream is worth $119,900,000. But it's not; it's only worth that if someone else will pay that much for it.
In other words, The Scream was worth $119,900,000 to exactly one person, so far, and that person has it. So in terms of worth or value, The Scream, as an investment, may be worthless. If nobody anywhere ever offers to pay money to the current owner of The Scream, then that painting is worth nothing.
Which is why I say we make two pacts today:
1. We as a world promise to never ever ever pay any money for The Scream again, and in fact we as the world ought to vow to copy, reprint, post, and otherwise make versions of The Scream so ubiquitous that the painting is guaranteed to be worthless, and
2. We as a world ought to also promise to make Rusty Webb's pizza on the bottom a reality. As Rusty said in his response to the previous caption:
Yeah, no one is putting cheese UNDERNEATH the pizza yet. That's like half the surface volume totally untapped.
That is genius, and it's thinking like that which made Rusty the Reader Of The Month. Of course, when I named him Reader Of The Month, I didn't know he'd revolutionize pizza for a new generation, so actually, I should say: this is the kind of thing I expect from my readers. Everyone else, the bar has been raised: if you can't come up with the equivalent of putting cheese on The Dark Side Of The Pizza, you're not living up to expectations.
Did you know we're down to
just one version
of Law & Order on TV?
Previously, on The Scream: