I read a lot of blogs by writers, and I blog a lot of writes by readers.
…Just seeing if you’re paying attention, and also testing out this new program, GrammarBase, available from grammarbase.com
As you know, I have a hundred zillion blogs and I also write books which I’d tell you to go buy but I’m sure you own them all already, so do you own two copies? You should: what if someone wants to borrow your first copy and you want to re-read it for the hundredth time? What will you do then? See? I’m right. Go buy another copy of all my books. And leave a dollar in the tip jar on your way out.
Anyway, GrammarBase is an all new, totally free, online tool that does a better job than any other program – probably than any other three programs, but they didn’t say that, so that’s just me bragging them up—checking for spelling, grammar, and other common errors.
You know, the kind of errors you see every third line from me, because I am a BUSY MAN and do not have time to go thinking about whether my grammars make senses or nots. I’VE GOT STUPID PUNS TO MAKE, PEONS.
And now, with GrammarBase, I can make those stupid puns and not worry about one of those inferior – and they’re all inferior—checking programs missing my grammatical errors so that when you go buy that third copy of my book
(What? You’ll need another copy because your friend is going to love my book so much that they’ll tell THEIR friend, who is that one guy you met at dinner once but didn’t care for, and that guy’s going to want to borrow it, too, and you are too polite to say “Why don’t you just go buy it yourself?” You should really be more assertive)
… I don’t have to hear “This was great but I really felt that it should have been proofread better.”
Because I hate proofreading and I hate programs that miss basic mistakes like when I mean to type sick and instead I type stick and the checking programs I’ve been using miss that because after all stick is spelled right, so don’t alert me or anything, and my dramatic scene reads:
“She was so stick she went to the hospital.”
And you and your friend and that guy you don’t like are all “What? She turned into a stick? Was she anorexic? Is it symbolism? Is it a pun?”
GrammarBase was devised and programmed by top-name guys and girls who wanted to work on not just basic misspellings, but also poor grammar, punctuation errors (it’s going to hate my love of semicolons;;;;)(that was the rare quadruple semicolon, which is equal to one full colon) and even… yes, context-based spelling errors. The bane of my existence: the stick/sick problem is solved.
Although a book in which a person becomes a stick might be kind of neat.
Anyway, it’s available for free, I intend to use it to avoid poor reviews of my poor grammars, and if you write anything you should use it, too. And leave your own horror stories of correction-program errors in the comments.