Things THEY Don't Want You To Know: The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The New Pornographers

Friday, June 06, 2008

The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The New Pornographers

I've devoted 6,976 words to helping people understand what "rock and roll" really is this week.

But The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The New Pornographers could have saved me a lot of trouble and typing and carpal tunnel syndrome. (Used to be that "carpal tunnel syndrome" was taking over the world; we were all going to die as civilization crashed around us because people wouldn't be able to function as a result of their hands being twisted into unrecognizable shapes as a result of always having to hit ctrl+alt+del. Why they didn't get "carpal tunnel syndrome" in the 50s is beyond me. It's either that people were tougher then or life was tougher then and we didn't have 10,000 magazines and news channels that needed to turn every little SARS pseudoepidemic into the Next Big Death Thing.)

(Nowadays, carpal tunnel syndrome is gone. In its place, we're all going to die of peanut allergies. To fight peanut allergies, our doctor has forbidden us from giving our 21-month-old boys any peanuts or nuts until their 2nd birthday. So: At 12:01 a.m. on September 5, peanut butter is okay. 2 minutes prior to that, peanut butter = certain death/babypocalypse).

I could have saved all that typing and carpal tunnel and meandering prose if I'd just started with The Ramones first. The Ramones, who are The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The New Pornographers demonstrate that rock doesn't need 6,976 words to describe it.

It just needs three words-- rock and roll-- and three chords. That's all The Ramones did, and that's all that needs to be said.

So here's some songs from The Ramones. And some hot rocker chicks. Happy weekend!

Blitzkrieg Bop: