You know what's sexy?
A girl with glasses.
Seriously: you have to admit it: Girls with glasses have that smart, sexy thing going on where they can wear their glasses and have their hair pulled up into kind of a drab ponytail and they're wearing a lab coat and then they just suddenly look up at you and let their hair down and take the glasses off and the lab coat swings open to reveal only a sexy pair of underwear beneath them and they're saying to you in a purring voice:
"Let's take your temperature a little more personally..."
Well, that's how it happens in my recurring dream each night.
Glasses are probably the only medically-necessary thing that also serves as a fashion device; when was the last time you thought "Man, that cast on her arm sure makes her look sexy?" and if you did think that, you need more help than me.
Glasses can make a woman look more professional, smarter, sexier, and simply more accessorized -- so they're a fashion item -- but let's not forget that if you wear glasses, you need them (unless you are my Oldest Daughter, who doesn't need them at all but who bought a pair with regular glass in them because she thought they made her look prettier.)
(Which: See? I'm right about the effect of glasses.)
Because glasses are both medical necessities and a fashion accoutrement (fancy, right?) Zenni Optical is the perfect place to shop for Valentine’s Day glasses, which, hear me out here.
At Zenni, glasses like these:
Can be had for as little as $6.95, which is a bonus no matter how you look at it. (See what I did there?) If your lady wears glasses, you can get her a fancy new pair for less than you'll spend on a card these days, practically, and you can then either get credit for being a thoughtful boyfriend/husband or use the money you saved to get her other stuff like flowers, too, in which case you're thoughtful and overindulgent, and don't overlook how good that's going to look when she mentions you to her girlfriends.
Zenni's online purchases let you get hundreds of glasses frames for $6.95, and they've got men's and kids', too, so no matter who you're shopping for, you're set up for this Valentine's Day. And while you're at it, pick YOURSELF up a pair, too -- that way, when she's the Sexy Lab Technician, you can be the Sexy Patient:
"Why, nurse, I don't think this is the traditional way of checking my blood pressure," you'll say, and whip off your own glasses...
All right. We're done here.