I've been in the hospital for a week, and this is the beginning of why. During that time, I didn't shave and my hair was messy and yet I looked nothing like Ryan Gosling, which doesn't seem fair. But his picture is here because you don't want to see a picture of me with a 5-day beard and messy hair.
I was, in the end, reduced to trying to think up a way that all the doctors and nurses and those other people who walk into a hospital room and do stuff for a while but (sadly) do not inject you with anything, or at least take anything from you -- what are they doing in the hospital if they're not there to add a fluid to you or take a fluid from you -- to get all of those people into a room somewhere, where I would then add someone who would not ordinarily be there, a husband, or brother, or out-of-town aunt who does crazy stuff, and all these people would be sitting around talking and it would go like this:
Doctor One, [the one who won't really make eye contact and talk a lot about tech stuff]: We've run every test we can think of, and haven't really found anything.
Doctor Two, [the one who filled in for the doctor the first day who I liked better but Doctor Two grew on me]: We could run all the tests again.
...and continues here...