Friday, December 02, 2011

28 Days of Christmas, 28 of the Best Christmas Songs, 5:

Here's the newest thing I'm told is going around on the Internet. Don't get your hopes up; it's another Star Wars Reference, and, honestly, not a very good one:





I mean, when I heard "Grinch" crossed with "Star Wars," I had high hopes, but that's just a music video of the Grinch song set to scenes featuring Darth Vader. Sure, the editing is a little higher-quality than you'd expect from most mash-ups -- it synchs up pretty well -- but given that everyone and their brother can make a Star Wars reference, shouldn't we expect a little more out of them?

Off the top of my head, I could think of a bunch of more interesting setups for such a combination. What about:

The Grinch vs. Darth Vader: After restoring Christmas to Whoville, the Grinch is relaxing in his Who-house, when he's visited by Darth Vader, who threatens to steal Christmas all over again and destroy it with (why not?) a third Death Star? The Grinch tries to fight Vader, but lets himself be cut down, only to guide Little Cindy Lou Who (now a hot, 25-year-old starfighter pilot Who) into destroying the Death Star, with Max as her astrodroid. You could even have an updated "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" song done as a duet between the Grinch and Vader (to the tune of the original song)

Vader: You're a mean one, Mr Grinch. You really are a heel.

Grinch: I used to be all heelish but now I'm more good-feelish,

Vader: Mr Grinch!

Grinch: You're a half-machine monster, you're the one who is EVIL!


That's awesome, as all my ideas are. Or how about

Star Wars Universe Presents: The Who Wars. After turning Christmas back over to the Whos, the Grinch retires to his mountainside cave and plans to live out his life in peaceful retirement, eating Roast Beast and knitting clothes for the Whos. But the next Christmas eve, before the Grinch can travel down the mountain for the feast, he is visited by Yoda, who tells him that Christmas won't happen that year, because Santa has been kidnapped! When the Grinch inquires who could have done such a dastardly deed, Yoda reveals that the Empire has reached even this Seussian outpost, and that the Whos are in fact the next generation of clones, set to replace stormtroopers. All they await is activation, which will turn them from singing, happy Whos into cold-blooded killers. Darth Vader has captured Santa and will tonight be going house to house, setting an ornament on each Christmas tree that, when the Whos awake in the morning, will pulsate and activate them.

Only Santa, with his magical abilities, could have stopped Vader -- or so Vader thought, because he forgot that the Grinch was every bit as fast as Santa. Setting out once again with Max and his trusty sleigh, the Grinch steals through the night in Whoville, following in the footsteps of Vader and collecting up the ornaments, leaving behind Christmas presents.

Then, armed with an entire bagful of ornaments, the Grinch transforms his sleigh into an X-wing and flies it to (why not?) a third Death Star, where he relies on his instincts instead of the targeting device he knitted, and manages to shoot the entire sackful of ornaments into a small exhaust port not much bigger than a womp rat. The combined ornaments' ... um... fusion-powered violet hypno beams (why not?) ... transform the effect and turn the current stormtroopers into charming Whos!


See? It's not even hard, people. Here's today's song: Tijuana Christmas, by The Border Brass. I was looking for some Herb Alpert but it turns out he's really bad at Christmas music. So I went with this:



1 comment:

Stephen Hayes said...

If this is the type of music they play in December south of the boarder I'll be staying put for the Holidays.