Sunday, August 14, 2011

It's best not to think about what happened to them while you look at the pictures. (Eye Candy)



Sweetie and I saw Final Destination 5, and despite its inaccurate name, it had two things going for it:

1. Lots of people died.

2. There's a pivotal scene in the movie that makes clear that a great deal of this death and destruction takes place on the actual day Sweetie and I got married -- May 13, 2000, which seemed weirdly symbolic as Sweetie is the one in our relationship who loves these movies.

Anyway, I thought today's Eye Candy should therefore be:

The Girls Of Final Destinations!

For a bonus quiz, try to figure out how each died -- answers at the end.


Kristen Cloke:




Christine Chatelaine:



Sarah Carter:




Keegan Connor Tracy:




Alexz Johnson:



Gina Holden:



Krista Allen:



Shantel Van Santen:



Ellen Wroe:



Jacqueline MacInnes Wood:



How'd they die?

Kristen Cloke: Monitor shards in throat, knife falls in chest then chair impales through it, after all of which she's finally killed in an explosion.

Christine Chatelaine: Died on the Flight 180 plane crash.
Sarah Carter: Run over by an 18-wheeler.

Keegan Connor Tracy: Hit with an airbag and then impaled through the back of the head with a pipe.

Alexz Johnson: Shot repeatedly by a nail gun in the back of the head.

Gina Holden: Roller coaster derailment.

Krista Allen: Flying rock through the eye.

Shantel Van Santen: hit by 18-wheeler.

Ellen Wroe: Folded in half, popping out her spine, after another gymnast stepped on a screw and fell into the gymnast's chalk, which spilled in front of a fan and blew into Ellen's eyes while she was on the parallel bars, causing her to fly off awkwardly.

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood: Lasik-laser overheated, burning into her eyes and causing her to pop the eye-button off a teddy bear, so that once she got free of the head-vise she stumbled on the stuffed-animal eye and fell out the window onto a car below, popping her eye the rest of the way out -- and the eyeball was then run over, which seemed unnecessary to me.

2 comments:

Michael Offutt said...

Oh you straight men and your wimmenz and your bewbs.

Petri Dish said...

Yawm. Wake me up when there's a new slasher flick out. Altho i might give this one a chance, Love JM Wood on B&B(don't judge me!).