Sunday, August 14, 2011

It's best not to think about what happened to them while you look at the pictures. (Eye Candy)

Sweetie and I saw Final Destination 5, and despite its inaccurate name, it had two things going for it:

1. Lots of people died.

2. There's a pivotal scene in the movie that makes clear that a great deal of this death and destruction takes place on the actual day Sweetie and I got married -- May 13, 2000, which seemed weirdly symbolic as Sweetie is the one in our relationship who loves these movies.

Anyway, I thought today's Eye Candy should therefore be:

The Girls Of Final Destinations!

For a bonus quiz, try to figure out how each died -- answers at the end.

Kristen Cloke:

Christine Chatelaine:

Sarah Carter:

Keegan Connor Tracy:

Alexz Johnson:

Gina Holden:

Krista Allen:

Shantel Van Santen:

Ellen Wroe:

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood:

How'd they die?

Kristen Cloke: Monitor shards in throat, knife falls in chest then chair impales through it, after all of which she's finally killed in an explosion.

Christine Chatelaine: Died on the Flight 180 plane crash.
Sarah Carter: Run over by an 18-wheeler.

Keegan Connor Tracy: Hit with an airbag and then impaled through the back of the head with a pipe.

Alexz Johnson: Shot repeatedly by a nail gun in the back of the head.

Gina Holden: Roller coaster derailment.

Krista Allen: Flying rock through the eye.

Shantel Van Santen: hit by 18-wheeler.

Ellen Wroe: Folded in half, popping out her spine, after another gymnast stepped on a screw and fell into the gymnast's chalk, which spilled in front of a fan and blew into Ellen's eyes while she was on the parallel bars, causing her to fly off awkwardly.

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood: Lasik-laser overheated, burning into her eyes and causing her to pop the eye-button off a teddy bear, so that once she got free of the head-vise she stumbled on the stuffed-animal eye and fell out the window onto a car below, popping her eye the rest of the way out -- and the eyeball was then run over, which seemed unnecessary to me.


Michael Offutt said...

Oh you straight men and your wimmenz and your bewbs.

Petri Dish said...

Yawm. Wake me up when there's a new slasher flick out. Altho i might give this one a chance, Love JM Wood on B&B(don't judge me!).