Saturday, February 09, 2013

This blackout drunk can only afford a single t-shirt, and that is supposed to get you shopping. (Overthinking Commercials.)

The least important thing this guy has to deal with in his life is not getting that t-shirt back.  

The most important thing? The fact that the cat is clearly trying to hypnotize him back into bed.  Creepy.

T-shirt maker ads confuse me.  I can honestly say that I have never given even a single second's thought to who makes my t-shirt.  While I have t-shirts I like (my long-lost Green Lantern t-shirt which is irreplaceable...*tears up*), I could not name a t-shirt manufacturer except for Hanes and that's only because they featured Black Hitler in one of their commercials:

Which brings up an important point: Is it mustache? Or moustache?  Because it's Saturday morning and I think I've got low blood sugar, I will investigate for you.

Done.  The Grammarist says:

Mustache is the U.S. spelling of the word referring to hair on the upper lip. Moustache is the preferred spelling in all major varieties of English other than American English. Mustachiowas originally a variant of mustache, but it now usually refers to an especially luxuriantmustache. The past-participle adjectives corresponding to these words are mustached,moustached, and mustachioed

You know what freaked me out the most about that? In order:

1. The fact that there are past-participle adjectives.
2.  The fact that some people know what those are.

Why do we bother naming the types of words we use? Think about that for a while.  Why do verbs have to have a name?  

Man, now I'm not going to sleep at all tonight.



So what are we supposed to make of that? That the pig is a person? Because that commercial where he goes to the restaurant makes pretty clear that (A) he is a pig and (B) in the world in which he lives, we EAT pigs.

I am really confused.


Andrew Leon said...

Oh, man! T-shirts! I need to do the t-shirts!
I have a long, lost Star Wars t-shirt. Except that it wasn't lost as in I can't find it. It got ripped. I was so sad.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Some commercials are so dumb. Like that GEICO one where a lady is stranded in a car with a talking pig and is bummed that the pig doesn't want to make out with her. I guess they must have been stranded in Arkansas or something. I mean the subtext is that this lady wants to fuck a pig. Gross!

Anyway, I just have to find T-shirts that will fit my big fat gut so I don't get a say in who makes them.

Liz said...

We have names for types of words so that the people who talk about that sort of thing can be specific about what they're talking about.

Any field has its own jargon. Past participle and verb belong to those that analyze language.

Briane P said...

Did I miss a commercial in which a woman tries to make out with a pig? Apparently I did. Now it doesn't even feel like a Saturday. I am going to go look for that commercial.

Liz, as usual, you are correct. If I ever stopped to think things before I said them, I'd probably be correct once in a while, too, but I would talk less, then, and I can't bear the idea of someone else getting a word in edgewise. It's like Thomas Jefferson probably wanted to say: "Those who do not learn the lessons of grammar are doomed to repeat them."

Andrew: I used to have a "Phantom Menace" t-shirt that one day disappeared. I looked for it for years and then one day Sweetie confessed that she'd thrown it away because it (and I quote) "was garbage."

There should be a line in the wedding vows that makes wives promise not to ever ever throw a t-shirt away. NO MATTER WHAT.

Andrew Leon said...

That's the kind of thing my mom used to do. Like the day I came home and all of my comic books were gone. Now, understand, those comic books included many old Amazing Spider-Mans and my prized Star Wars #1. Just gone because "I didn't need them," so she gave them away.

Briane P said...

That is awful. Awful. My mom never liked my comics, but she never threw them away.

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My mom did stuff like that more than once. Basically, until I figured out that my stuff wasn't safe and I took steps to make it that way.

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