Friday, June 19, 2009

The Teddy Bears Would Get Into Phenomenal Adventures But Would Not Play Soccer (The Best Ad Jingle, #4)

It's a MiniBest!

As I catalog on Best after Best on this blog, I am not one to be hampered by the fact that something is fictional; being fictional doesn't make something not The Best, in my opinion, and in fact, not actually existing in the "real" world may help things along. It's a lot easier to be The Best if you don't have to deal with the "real" world, with all the humidity and pieces of bagpipe scattered around my living room and cashiers getting confused when I give them a 50-cents-off-large-soda coupon at the theater and making me Sweetie almost miss the previews...

... okay, I got off on a tangent there. What I meant to say is that the fact that something didn't exist in the "real" world may help it be better than things that do exist in the "real" world, because "reality" can only bring things down, sometimes. "Reality" can result in people coming home from an afternoon movie to realize their Babies! got into the bagpipes...

... tangent again.

"Reality" could also result in people realizing that Iodent wasn't such a great toothpaste after all. You know how toothpaste is always overhyped, and you buy it in the store and rush home and quickly head downstairs, not even saying hello to the family because you're so excited about the new tube you just got, all unwrinkled and fluoride-y and with flavor strips right in it... and then it turns out to just be regular old toothpaste and you're dejected the rest of the day? That probably happens to everyone, and not just me, right?

Well, it'll never happen with Iodent, because Iodent, I've learned, never existed. Which means the promise held forth in the jingle sung by Annie and the orphans will never be broken, but will always exist in some dreamlike state of perfection and grace and promise -- the same dreamlike state that also is home to soccer games that are interesting, and home, too, to an action movie featuring Teddy Bears who have psychic powers. A wondrous land, indeed, but one that exists only in our collective minds... leaving us here in the "real" world with only the Annie song to cling to:

I'm thinking about ad jingles because I am engaged in trying to change the very nature of publishing -- by selling ad space in my upcoming book. Click here to read more about that.

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