Saturday, May 17, 2014

What Happens When The Symbolism Of McDonald’s Cheeseburgers Is Questioned. (250=1)

What Happens When The Symbolism Of McDonald’s Cheeseburgers Is Questioned.

AJ is afraid all the time but not in an overtly-crippling way.  AJ fears he is too happy about some things, and not happy enough about others.  He confides this one day to Tiana.  Tiana serves (in her mind) as a de facto therapist but stands (in AJ’s mind) as a potential love interest in the story that would be his life if AJ ever gets around to writing that autobiography.

“An autobiography of nothing,” Tiana thinks, taking  AJ’s coupon from him.  AJ has a coupon every day.

“Why do you come here every day?” Tiana asks AJ.

“Would you like to go out sometime?” AJ responds.

“This isn’t even good food,” Tiana whispers back to him.

“It’s the best food,” AJ says, “In that it’s unique.  Anyone can make a burger.  Nobody can make a McDonald’s Cheeseburger except McDonald’s.”

“Why do you want to go out with me?” Tiana asks.

“I think it would make me just the right amount of happy,” AJ responds.  “And I’ve asked you out now 14 times. So you should say yes.”

“You like unique stuff, huh?” Tiana asks him.

“Yes.”

“I’m a twin, you know.”

AJ has to think about that.

“And,” Tiana says, “Every McDonald’s cheeseburger is like every other McDonald’s cheeseburger.”

AJ looks down at his tray.

“So nothing,” Tiana says, “Is less unique than a McDonald’s cheeseburger.”


AJ does not know where to fit this new idea into his life.
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There'll be new stories coming, too, but as with before, this one appeared on another blog and now is appearing here, and so you can read it again or for the first time.  250=1 stories are stories that have exactly 250 words including the title, and I've got a whole lot more of them here.

HEY WRITERS 

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4 comments:

Andrew Leon said...

Hmm... I think I like Tiana. Do you think she'd go out with -me-?

Rusty Carl said...

But... McDonalds is still pretty unique. I mean, water bears number in the trillions, and they're still pretty weird.

Briane Pagel said...

Andrew! I'm telling your wife.

Rusty: I know what water bears are because this year, Mr Bunches had to read a book every day and on many days he chose the book "Bugs" which included a fascinating paragraph about water bears, so if your intent was to lord over me your knowledge of obscure bugs and thereby intimidate me into thinking you've invalidated my reasoning, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED AND CHALLENGE OVERCOME.

I am feeling combative this morning.

Andrew Leon said...

What? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know any Tiana.

Y'all aren't really going to make me go look up water bears, are you? I think you made those up.