Friday, June 01, 2012

I will NOT stop thinking about this question all weekend. (The Star War Blogathon)

I briefly did, until I got bored with it, a blog called My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad, where I pondered battles between fictional people or mismatched combatants, like "Polar bears vs. killer bees."

My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad is this now, but I still wonder about those things. And here's what popped into my head as I considered today's question:

Who would win in a fight, Gandalf or Luke Skywalker?

Feel free to answer that in the comments. My own take on it will be posted later after I go read a bunch of stuff about Fermi so I'm ready for when Rusty comes at me with facts and knowledge and stuff to rebut my ignorant rantings about the universe.

Question 90:

What species in the Star Wars universe has George Lucas banned from becoming Jedi, leaving only three (or maybe four) of them actually having been Jedi?

  Today's rules:

1.  The question's worth 4,000 points if you get it right first, but you'll get 4,000 points more if you answer in the form of a rhyming couplet. 
2.Mention Andrew Leon's class' book on your blog, get 1,000 points (leave me a link.)
3.  If you're not the first person with the right answer, you can STILL get points by writing a poem about the answer, getting 1,000 points per rhyming line you put in.

 And here are the standings for the Big Four still in the running. Michael stole 5,000 from Andrew, PT got 6,000 points for getting the last question correct (my typing being worse than my math -- Andrew was correct), plus HE stole 10,000 points from Andrew, making this a real horse race

Andrew Leon: 66,411 1/4. (Andrew's the author of the great YA book, The House On The Corner. Click here to go to his blog.)

 P.T. Dilloway: 48,121. Author Patrick Dilloway blogs here, and wrote the excellent book Where You Belong, available here.)

Michael Offutt, 7,3021/2, author of  the great sci-fi book Slipstream, which you can read about on Goodreads)

Rusty Webb: 4,022, Blogger at The Blutonian Death Egg, author of the great novella A Dead God's Wrath.


Andrew Leon said...

It's too bad for all the wookies
'cause Lucas took their Jedi cookies.

Andrew Leon said...

I'd have written something longer if I wasn't trying to get my answer in first. I feel bad for Rusty.

There are a few other species that can't be Jedi, like the Gamorreans (and Ewoks), but, given the Wookie slant to this whole contest, I feel confident that Wookie is the answer you're looking for. Besides, that's the only one I know of where Lucas just came out and said "no Wookie Jedi."

As for Gandalf and Luke... No one wins. Half way through the fight, they realize they're both good guys thus leaving it open to debate for decades to come.
Don't you know that's how it works?

Rusty Webb said...

Can we go back to my post last week where I asked you to assume that I say Wookies every day at noon? That isn't exactly what I said, but it's close.

I think Gandalf wins easy. At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Luke is probably less than a week old. Easy as pie to beat up a baby. Of course, at the end of Fellowship, Gandalf is dead, even a baby can beat a dead guy. But I'm going out on a limb and assuming you want both participants to be alive when they fight.

A Jedi version of Luke though, well, I'm glad you didn't ask that question.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Wow, I need to work on an epic poem about Wookies. Then I'll catch Andrew Leon!

OK, let's see:

Once there was a Wookie;
Who never went to see a bookie.
Because he wanted to be a Jedi;
Not a really bad guy.
He practiced day & night;
To learn how to fight.
He even made a light saber;
Which took a lot of labor.
He went around in a brown robe;
And acted more humble than Job.
To everyone he was kind;
He could move rocks with his mind!
But then a dude came to town;
And shot our would be Jedi down.
This dude was little and green;
And his pointy ears were keen.
"A Jedi you will never be;
For you are not as cool as me."
The Wookie said, "I feel the Force
And my robe is really coarse."
But the green guy did not care;
He took off into the air.
The Wookie went home to the trees;
And listened to the breeze.
Until his father came in;
With a new way to win.
"Son I've got a great plan;
Meet my good friend Han."

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Ha ha, now you see why I don't write poems.

Anyway, I think Gandalf would win, if he could use his magic to create a shield against Luke's light saber. I mean Luke can move rocks and stuff but Gandalf can summon eagles and magic horses and whatnot.

But can Luke beat the Scarlet Knight? I suppose it would depend on if you count him as an alien since he's not from Earth.

Andrew Leon said...

Ah, well, that's awesome. My hat goes off to you!
Although, I may have substituted in Lucas there for Yoda. Or maybe had Yoda dressed in Lucas' trademark flannel.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Yeah but what rhymes with Lucas? Mucus? Same for flannel or George.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

OK, wait a few things rhyme with flannel like channel or panel. But that's why I'm not a poet.

Andrew Leon said...

What about, "A dude in flannel came to town"? That wouldn't cause a rhyme change.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

It’s clear that the hutts
Don’t have the nuts
To use the force
With any course
Because action
Is not a part of their faction
As they sit around
Gaining fat by the pound
And have arms too short
For any sport
much less than the wielding of a lightsaber.
I would like to confirm
If indeed a worm
Can be anything of any note
Given their huge bloat
Aside from crime lords
Or an alien pimp who affords
The most exotic women and beasts.

Andrew Leon said...

Dude! And Michael wrote an awesome poem, too!
But I'm going to a play tonight, so I don't have time to write one.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Ha ha, Hutts would make even worse Jedi than Wookies. Though really I think it'd be cool if the cantina band could have been Jedi. They could have played all their instruments with the Force and stuff.