Friday, June 10, 2011

A long time ago, in a galaxy that had not yet heard of "Axe Body Spray"... (Star Wars References.)

If there's one question I never thought would be answered in my lifetime, it's this:

What did Lando Calrissian smell like?

But thankfully, I will not go to my grave without knowing the answer to that burning issue, because this exists:



No, that's not the world's worst Star Wars Action Figure (TM); it's a bottle of Eau Lando Cologne, which you can buy for the low, low price of $29.99.

It is, that site says, an exclusive, and a limited edition.

Eau Lando smells like (again, according to that site)

Mandarin warmed with incense and lotus flower, exotic woods, dark violet and sensuous musk

Which is not what I

Dreamed


described in my as-yet-unpublished fan-fic “Lando & Greedo: Space Bail Bondsmen

thought it would smell like.

That's not the only Star Wars-based cologne out there. There's also this:


But that's not as appealing, without more specificity. Which Jedi would it smell like? That one with the blue head and tentacles? Mace Windu? Yoda?

I hope not Yoda, because I bet Yoda had old man smell. You know the smell: a mixture of Ben Gay and prejudice.

2 comments:

Rogue Mutt said...

They should make "Scent of a Wookie," the cologne Homer Simpson had a bottle of in one episode.

But shouldn't Lando smell like stale Colt 45 and failure like Billy Dee Williams probably does in real life?

Dusk said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!! very funny!!
...but dammit that sounds so Cloud City heavenly! But seriously... that sounds like something Jedi Master Shaak'ti would wear.

And I need Le Parfum de Jedi. NEED.

[do you mean Aayla Secura?]