Showing posts with label january jones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label january jones. Show all posts

Sunday, April 08, 2012

H is for "How In The World Is This An Alien Alphabet?" (THIS is a THING!?!?!)

I watched exactly two news stories this morning and now they are forming the basis for my entire existence.  This post, at least, doesn't involve people dying because a US Senator wanted a cute photo-op/no actual responsibilities

THIS is a THING!?!?! exists, as you'll recall, to chronicle THINGS that THIS turns out to be: wherever there is a THIS that has become a THING, you will find The Best Of Everything, ably breaking it down for you piece-by-piece, usually years after other people got sick of it.

Today's THING that THIS is turns out to be a bit more timely than usual, as today's THING is

PEEP DIORAMAS!

In addition to being all up in arms about the only two news stories I bothered to watch today, I also am already two chocolate eggs into my Easter Breakfast (Cadbury Creme Egg, Maple Whipped Filling Egg, and coffee) and I haven't even gotten to the Peeps yet, which is good, because otherwise I'd be missing out on my own opportunity to take part in THIS exciting new THING if I just ate the Peeps.

And to help you get in on the action, let's take a peep

- yep. I said that -


at what THIS THING is all about.

What THIS THING is, in a nutshell: Peep Dioramas are what they sound like: a diorama made out of Peeps.  And although this morning I saw a story on CNN Headline News about a contest involving Peeps dioramas (a story in which the reporter interviewed the second-place kids' winner and a "contestant" there was no mention of who actually won), I've actually been hearing about Peeps Dioramas for longer than that; it goes back a couple of weeks at least.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Peeps' Dioramas are little scenes made starring Peeps.  We've all made dioramas,  back in grade school, haven't we, as demonstrated by this classic The Simpsons snippet in which Lisa made a diorama of Poe's The TellTale Heart:


Ok, I couldn't find the clip, but you get the point: if there were no lawyers... My GOD, what am I saying?  I don't want there to be no lawyers.

I want there to be one lawyer.

(Me.)

When did THIS THING start?  As I said, for me, it started a couple of weeks back -- when I saw, on IO9, a story about a Peeps diorama in which Peeps were seen operating the Large Hadron Collider:



It's funny because they're going to cause the world to collapse in a singularity... of marshmallowy cuteness!

(If we... when we end by having the world accidentally... "accidentally"... destroyed by the Large Hadron Collider, I bet our end will look a lot like the way Peeps die in microwaves.)


That diorama is amazingly detailed -- the books in the construction were created based on actual books with Peeps-related physics puns in them.  And not to be beaten, the person who originally reported on it said he thought Peeps would be more into the soft sciences

Now you know why the Large Hadron people haven't found the Higgs Boson yet: they've been spending all their time building Peeps Dioramas.  (Well, that and it doesn't exist.)

But, of course, just because the Large Hadron Collider is how the world will end doesn't mean it's also how Peeps Dioramas began.  According to Wikipedia, the first-ever Peeps Diorama contest was held by the "St. Paul Pioneer Press," which I'm pretty sure was the fictitious newspaper in Lake Wobegon Days, which is fitting as all Peeps are above average.

Last year's entries over at the St. Paul Pioneer Press were said to feature an overwhelming number of Justin-Bieber based entries, which brings us to:


When did THIS THING officially pass into pop culture?

 I'm going to say it was when the Chilean miners made it into Peepville.  But before I get to that, let's take a look at a Peep Prison Wedding:



That's called "Denny Hecker and Christi Rowan Get Married," and it won second place in the 2011 St. Paul Pioneer Press competition.  You may have missed the story of Denny Hecker and Christi Rowan, so to sum it up for you: I have no idea what is going on.

According to this story, the two got spite-married -- they'd been trying to secretly marry for some time, and then got married by phone so that (according to Denny Hecker, the inmate [Peepmate] above) people would stop saying Christi was his girlfriend.

The marriage violated a pre-sentencing agreement, prosecutors said, and meant that Christi faced up to 10 years in prison; it was also illegal under Minnesota law, which doesn't recognize "proxy" marriages, which was also the first time I realized that the two people who get married might have to be in the same place at the same time to get married, a rule that makes no sense.

(Presumably, opponents of gay marriage are okay with inmates marrying their girlfriends by phone, as that in no way offends or compromises the "dignity" of marriage.)

As for what Denny Hecker did to get into prison, "Search me!" As the United States Supreme Court might say.  (If you do not get that joke, you have probably been watching too many news stories about Small Time Charlie, "Senator" from New York, helping people get a rescue dog while soldiers die, and not enough stories about the U.S. Supreme Court upholding the rights of jails to strip search any person being booked into the jail, even without reasonable suspicion, a decision that was promptly misunderstood as the Court approving of such searches, which are banned by statute in many cases.  All the Court really said is that the 4th Amendment does not provide a Constitutional right to avoid strip-searching when being booked into the jail, about which I think yeah, that's probably right.

As for Denny Hecker, he was indicted for swindling lenders, and filed for bankruptcy protection owing $767,000,000 in personal debt alone.  His scheme involved getting auto lenders to give him millions while he lied about the level of risk involved and used some of the business-related loans for his personal funds.  In particular, Hecker was alleged to have gotten $80,000,000 from Chrysler to buy more than 5,000 used cars to use as rentals.  The seller was agreeing to repurchase 605 of the cars, but


According to the indictment, Leach had an employee cover the original text with "a taped-on insert" that said Hyundai was agreeing to sell Hecker 4,855 repurchase vehicles, not 605. On Nov. 15, 2007, Leach faxed the altered letter from Hecker's headquarters in St. Louis Park to Hecker, who was at the Detroit airport, the indictment said. Hecker then presented the letter to Chrysler Financial, "knowing it was fraudulent," the complaint said.

So Chrysler, loaning $80,000,000, was fooled by a taped-over note.  And nobody at Chrysler thought to call Hyundai to verify.  Or even to ask for a receipt.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  Corporate America! Nobody pay attention to that story about how we definitely don't need more regulation of business!  Back to focusing on Peeps!  And those Chilean Miners!



The Chilean Miners are what I picked out as the moment that Peeps dioramas entered Pop Culture because the Chilean Miners to me represent Pop Culture at its finest... "finest." (?)... in that we briefly paid attention to them, then went on to other things, while the Chilean Miners did their best to hold our attention by announcing they would write a book with all sorts of previously-undisclosed information in it.

Keeping people's attention is hard, in Pop Culture.  Just look at how Lady GaGa has to work.  Why, just the other day, she had to wear regular clothes to get noticed

Is THIS THING still going on?

Peeps Dioramas appear to be at their height; I don't recall seeing them on HEADLINE! news before.  But that's where I saw them this morning.  When Peeps Dioramas are headline! news, you can safely say they are still going on.

Going stronger than ever, in fact: the economy still isn't what you'd call good, but that won't stop Americans from spending 11% more on Easter this year than they did last year, an average of just over $145 per person (or $43,500,000,000 on Easter alone.)

Will it die? Is it dying? The rules for when THINGS die, remember, are that THIS THING dies when someone older than you tells you about it, or when Republicans do it, as Republicans and people who are older than you are NOT COOL.  I was not able to find any evidence that Republicans were doing Peeps dioramas, probably because they're too busy making plans to actually start burning women at the stake for witchcraft ("witchcraft" in that sentence meaning "wanting equal pay for equal work/having jobs).  I did find that The Voice has a Peeps diorama:



Which means we're about done with them, as also The Voice is NOT COOL.

(I honestly, when I found that article, confused The Voice with The View. But either way: NOT COOL.)

Can you sum up Peeps Dioramas for people who skimmed this post and just want a quick takeaway?

Sure:






You peeple need help.


(See what I did there?)

I'll get to that dolphins thing tomorrow, by the way.

 


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pop Culture, I don't trust you: (The 8 Hottest Moms (Currently) On TV Shows. (MiniBest!))



I know it's been six months since I mentioned this topic, but that's only because I'm don't pay any more attention to what I say here than you do. And also I'd have gotten back to this Minibest sooner except I try as hard as I can to avoid ever hearing anything about Mad Men whatsoever -- not because Jon Hamm's a liar but because when a television show (or anything) is superpopular it can only mean that it sucks.

Don't bother trying to correct me. In our modern era (post 2005), the more popular something is, the more terrible it is. It used to be that something being really popular meant it was good, but somewhere between Titanic and the last Harry Potter book, that ended. Now, as a general rule, with the exception of McDonald's cheeseburgers, superpopular generally means supersuckage.

I believe it's because it's no longer possible to distinguish genuine popularity from fake popularity. Popularity is, after all, determined by only a few factors: how much money something made and how highly it is rated and how much people are talking about it.

But money stopped being a measure when I (and you and we all) stopped being able to factor in inflation. Every movie is a record-setter; Shrek 2 made more money than E.T. So The Hunger Games made a jintillion dollars over the weekend; so what? Movie theater box office receipts are simply a Hollywood version of the Weimar Republic.

Then there's ratings -- which are so easily manipulated that Oprah could ask her viewers to rate her show higher.

Finally, there's how much people are talking about it. That used to be a reliable measure -- it's what got me to see Titanic and it's what two years ago proposed as a true measure of greatness. It seemed to me that was a good way to check things out, but I hadn't yet at that time worked out the logistics of the echo chamber that is the Internet and modern media -- where one paparazzi photo can show up on 50 celebrity blogs, where the Huffington Post will headline a story from another site which copied it from the New York Times, where, in essence, there are 33,000,000 Google results for even the most obscure topic.

For example: I just googled "robot who played checkers" and found nearly 6,000,000 sites.

So if it seems a lot of people are talking about something like Mad Men or The Hunger Games or that one show that George R.R. Martin made by taking all the boring parts of Lord Of The Rings and altering them to include more dwarves, it's as likely to be just the reverberations of a single original voice or a small contingent of voices as it is to really be a crowd at the water cooler, and that's fueled my natural suspicion of anything popular, a suspicion that was originally created by high school (where I was unpopular, as you've guessed/been told over and over.)

Which, in turn, is why it took me so long to realize that January Jones plays a mom on Mad Men,



but once I did learn that, I wasted no time in making her number three on this list.

Previously, On The Eight Hottest Moms (Currently) On TV Shows:

1. Allana Harkin

2. Sophia Vergara

Friday, July 15, 2011

Just HOW does a Twinkie being attacked by an action figure fit in here? (THIS is a THING!?)


You ever just page around the Internet, skipping from site to site, looking for something good to read or catch your attention during the slower parts of The Office reruns you've been watching lately at night after the twins go to bed?

Or is that just me?

Some nights, I'm not tired really, not sleepy tired, but I am worn out, and I don't feel like reading a book or watching a new TV show and so I sort of browse the web on my phone and sort of watch The Office and sort of just veg out, and it was while I was doing that that I read this headline:


Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too

It's kind of normal for me to read headlines and think to myself: I recognize all of the words in that sentence as being English, a language I speak good and all, and yet the sentence does not make any sense.

So I had to investigate what that headline meant, which led to today's THING that THIS is:

Planking.


But first, an explanation about the picture that accompanies this post. You may remember that when I first started THIS is a THING!? I mentioned that it seemed a bit unfair that I spent 6 years working on this blog, bringing you all kinds of interesting thoughts like this actual thought I posted just over two years ago:

Is there anyone that watched all those Star Trek episodes and movies and thought "I wonder how Kirk and Spock ever met up?"

See? That's genius. And yet, despite that obvious genius (Obvious genius is the worst kind of genius) I get less hits in a lifetime than a website that posts pictures of January Jones in yoga pants does during the time it takes me to type January Jones In Yoga Pants.

Well, I am not one of those people who sits around complaining that life is unfair and then never doing nothing about it. I am one of those people, instead, who sits around complaining that life is unfair, then tries to take a picture of a Twinkie being attacked by an action figure (long story) and then does something about that unfairness I just remembered, and the way I've decided to remedy the unfairness is to do this:



That's right. January Jones is going to be the official spokesman for THIS is a THING?!, at least until she sues me to stop doing that.

But I am also mindful that there are those readers of this blog who may prefer genders that are not January Jones, and I am also mindful that I want them to keep reading, and so for those people, I am also going to, on each of these THINGS that are a THIS!?, introduce a co-spokesman for that post. And because I am not personally able to discern the appeal of the co-spokesmans, I will rely on Sweetie's ability to pick them, going off her past Hunks Of The Week, which also lets me recycle those posts, and recycling helps save the world, so, really, I am something of a superhero this morning.

This post's co-spokesman is Simon Baker. Here he is:


Enjoy!

And now, on to Planking.

What THIS THING is, in a nutshell: Planking, from what I can see, is lying down, and then having a picture taken of you. So that Deadspin story that set me off on this journey of self-, and planking-, discovery, was accompanied by this photo:



You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what "planking" is when you see that.

Although it might help, anyway, as Sherlock Holmes also planked:




Like everything, "planking" has a more scientific name: The Lying Down Game. I learned that from Wikipedia! Where you can also, if someone decides to do it, be labeled a suspect in the Kennedy assassination.

When did THIS THING start? That's a matter of some dispute. The Star says it was invented in 1997 by two British guys, who also get credit from iamplanking.com (which says they invented it in 2000).

But a different and I'm sure VERY authoritative website doesn't mention the British guys at all. The T-Dogg and Stinga website says this:

The word planking is a dirivetive of the word plankopace, which is Latin for "artistically displaying stiffness" & originated in the 1590's when the Dutch were ferrying exotic spices around the world via sail boat. On these year long journeys they would also ferry people trying to escape their homeland. Those not fortunate enough to afford their own living quarters would travel the year long journey in the lowest poorest part of the deck sometimes not seeing light for months at a time. As it was extremely close living arrangements, a married couple wanting to engage in a sexual encounter, in fear of being caught, would lie on each other in the plank position & let the motion of the ocean rock each other forwards and backwards therefore inventing planking. When more than one couple was planking at the same time it was called plankorgy, also inventing the orgy, which was later shortened to orgy.

Planking, or plankopace^ was later outlawed in 1633 due to rogue waves causes serious injuries & the ship doctor couldn't keep up with all the plakories as described in his tell all book, "Planking, are you in?"


Now, THAT is an origin.

Also, Tom Green, who you may remember as...

...well, as having once been someone who did something or other. I don't know anymore. I just remember that I'm supposed to remember him. Or maybe I'm not...

... Tom Green claims he invented planking, back in the 1990s. But the Washington Post, which used to matter, said planking came from the movie The Program, which might have starred Tom Green.

I'm going to have to go with T-Dogg and Stinga's explanation, since as I have already long ago established, everything* was invented in the 16th Century.
*Except pancakes on a stick.
That settles that. Nobody else need debate it. Remember, at TBOE, Our opinions are righter than yours.

When did THIS THING officially pass into pop culture?

According to that article that claims British guys invented it in 1997, the popularity of "planking" a/k/a "not doing anything, much" grew when they created a Facebook page for it in 2007. Since nobody uses Facebook anymore ever since they let your uncle on it and he kept posting those links to pages reprinting, verbatim, jokes from Totally Gross Jokes VII, I won't bother posting a screen cap of that page.

Instead, I'll move on to the scandal (?) created when a group of medical personnel at a hospital in the UK posted pictures of themselves planking on medical trolleys...

... man, I wish we lived in Great Britain. How much more awesomer is life when they wheel you into an operation on a trolley instead of a gurney?



I almost wouldn't mind them taking my spleen, under those circumstances...

...and after that scandal, of course, planking caught on around the world, because who doesn't want to do exactly what British doctors do for fun? Wait until 2013, when "voting for Tories" or "carrying umbrellas" becomes all the rage*.

*Fun fact: In the UK, umbrellas are referred to as Poppinses.

But regular people doing it does not mean it's a part of pop culture. You've got to get famous people doing it, or nobody cares.

So should people start caring? Let's see: Rappers and NBA players are planking, Australian models are planking...


... and decidedly D-list celebrities are planking; all the "celebrity" planking sites are filled with stories of "celebrities" planking but those "celebrities" always turn out to be Dax Shepherd (who inexplicably is not only in show business, but more importantly/inexplicably-er, gets to date Kristen Bell!) or Katy Perry or Flavor Flav, and these are not the people pop culture is made of; these are the people E!'s summer lineup is made of.

I was about to scrap the whole thing in favor of just posting more pictures of January and Simon, but then I came across a bona fide celebrity beloved by all Americans planking away:

(Credit to @ltsmichaelkelso for the pic.) As SpongeBob goes, so goes the WORLD.

Is THIS THING still going on? We are at the epoch... am I using that right? Epoch? Apparently, I'm close. I'm going to go with it. (Take that, Updike!) We are at the epoch of planking; that SpongeBob picture was posted June 28, 2011, which means that this is the point in time when planking is at its most popular! Go out and plank! Right now! Before it gets old and you look stupid and people say "Oh, yeah, I remember that. Huh." when you show them your pictures on your cell phone, the way people last month were saying "Oh, yeah, I remember that. Huh." about Diablo Cody's career.

And... it's over. You missed it. Sorry, people who want to plank, but you forgot the Universal Rule of What Kills A THING:

It's over when someone older than you tells you about it. So, again, I've killed it off for many people, but more damage was done by this man:



That's M. Myers Mermel, a former Republican candidate for New York governor, planking.

It's over. When Republicans do something, that thing dies.


Can You Sum Up Planking For People Who Skimmed Through This Post And Just Want A Quick Takeaway?

I can 100% guarantee you that no later than November, 2012, there will be a planking reference on one of the CSIs or Law & Orders. I will also be so bold as to say that the plot will involve someone being wrongly accused of running over her ex, when the ex was in fact, planking and got run over by some random stranger.

Or maybe it'll be on The Mentalist?



Read more THIS is a THING?!'s here.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

17 hours with January Jones...(THIS is a THING?!)



What's this all about? As the first-ever THIS is a THING, I'll treat you to the explanation:

THIS is a THING?! is my attempt to explain pop culture to you, without my actually having to endure the pop culture on my own; that is, I'll take something that's really popular among other people, and I'll try to explain it to you... but I'm not actually going to invest much*

*any

of my time or energy in watching, listening to, smelling, touching, or otherwise experiencing that thing.

Today's THING that THIS is (!?) is:

LIP DUBS.

What THIS THING is, in a nutshell: A lip dub is a lip synch. It's someone pretending to sing a song when they're not really.

Or, if you need 500+ words to say what I just said in 18, try the Wikipedia entry on it, which begins:

A lip dub is a type of video that combines lip synching and audio dubbing to make a music video. It is made by filming individuals or a group of people lip synching while listening to a song or any recorded audio then dubbing over it in post editing with the original audio of the song. There is often some form of mobile audio device used such as an MP3 players. Often they look like simple music videos, although many involve a lot of preparation and production. Lip dubs can be done in a single unedited shot that often travels through different rooms and situations within a building. They have become popular with the advent of mass participatory video content sites like YouTube.

The fact that pseudoacademics persist in saying things like "with the advent of mass participatory video content sites like YouTube" is why Republicans are able to convince the general public to cut funding for higher education, so knock it off, you twits.

How I, and maybe YOU, heard about THIS THING: I read about it on NPR's Monkey See blog, but let's face it, you probably didn't. The audience for a blog that (as I write this) is headed with a post titled "Tragedy And Comic Structure In The Tony-Nominated 'The Normal Heart'" is probably a pretty small one, whereas blogs that have headlines like "And Now A Compliment For January Jones" and which feature her wearing yoga pants generate more hits in a day than I will in a lifetime.

That's just the way life goes. You spend your time thinking smart, creative things about pop culture, and four people read your blog. But spend your time posting pictures of January Jones in her underwear, like this one which is here purely for illustrative purposes to demonstrate how demographics work:


Pictured: Science.

and you'll get tons of hits.

Here's what Monkey See, which also is notably short on pictures of January Jones in her underwear like this one, which does not appear on Monkey See:

Pictured:
The reason NPR's funding keeps getting cut.


Where was I? Here's what Monkey See had to say about Lip Dubs that made me want to learn more about them:

If you were online over the Memorial Day weekend, you may well have seen The Grand Rapids Lip Dub. Maybe you saw it after Roger Ebert called it "the greatest music video ever made." Maybe someone you know posted it to Facebook. Maybe someone e-mailed you the link. But by whatever channel, there's a decent chance you've stumbled on it: posted last Thursday, the video has already racked up over 1.3 million views, and that's over a holiday weekend.
Doesn't that make you want to learn more about what this lip dub thing might be? It made me want to learn more, although even as I recognized that I wanted to find out more about this thing, I also recognized I would want to do that but ultimately would not be learning more about it, because lately whenever I start to look things up on the Internet, it just devolves into searches for January Jones or some such...

... I bet you thought I was going to put a picture of her there, didn't you? But I'm not because (a) I'm pretty sure that my search history on my computers is monitored by the Trilateral Commission, and (b) I'm a serious journalist, the kind who uses only one exclamation point in many of his headlines.

Monkey See's interest in Lip Dub's was, in fact, enough to get me interested in them but ultimately, not so interested that I bothered watching the video on their post, which says a lot about me, I suppose, but this post isn't about me, as I am not a THING, yet.

When did THIS THING start?
That's kind of an interesting question. If you mean When did lip synching start, then the answer is "around the time that The Beatles were appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show," if not earlier, unless you meant people lip synching to songs they didn't originally sing, in which case I'd say that pop-culture-wise, lip synching became a THING when this happened:




That's the earliest known popular lip synch video that I can recall, and if I can't recall something, it's clearly not worth recalling, so let's just stick with what I know about stuff. If you think there's an earlier superpopular lip synch scene, leave it in the comments.

But there are other popular lip synchs, including this one, which is way better than the Risky Business one and is a classic of filmmaking:






You go, Duckie. Raise your hand if you wanted Duckie to get Molly Ringwald in the end.

Me, too.

In the original ending to the movie, Duckie got the girl. You can read the end of the script here.

And, just to keep things focused on what this post is truly about, here's one from a British film called "The Boat That Rocked." (We Americans know that movie either as Pirate Radio or "That was actually a movie?")








It's not immediately apparent from that clip, but the reason that man is lip-synching -- no lie -- is because his wife of 17 hours has just (in the movie) left him.

That wife? Played by January Jones.

And, no, I'm not going to put a picture of her there, either. Serious journalist + monitoring my internet use, remember?

With lip synchs going back all the way to the 1980s -- which is as far back as history should go, so screw you, Baby Boomers -- the question might be asked, When did they begin calling them lip-dubs?

The Internet Meme Hall Of Fame isn't helpful at all; they call them lip dubs but have no history of them. For that, you have to go back to Wikipedia, which is so reliable that people could repeatedly change American history in order to support Sarah Palin's version of it, but so uncool and unhip that not a single person in charge of that thought to credit one of the changes to Winston.

Wikipedia claims that the term lip dub was coined by "Jake Lodwick," the founder of Vimeo. Which is a nice consolation, I suppose: He gets credit for coining a term, while the found of Youtube gets $1.65 billion.

When Did THIS THING officially pass into pop culture? THIS is not a THING until it catches on in pop culture, and in this case, it appears that the point where Lip Dubs as a THING began to exist in September, 2010, when The Office did this:



Is THIS THING still going on? THINGS don't necessarily last forever, and some of them stumble around, zombie-like, even after they are clearly dead. The lifespan of a THING stretches from when it is born -- the point where most people become aware of it -- until it dies. But, as I said, sometimes THINGs don't know they're dead, so I'll give you a definite measurement of when a THING dies:

A THING dies when someone older than you does it or tells you about it.

Which means that (since I'm 42) this post officially killed Lip Dubs for many of you. Glad to help out.

(There are other ways to kill a THING. For example, any politician doing any THING instantly kills it:






Doesn't matter who the politician is. Bill Clinton officially killed sax solos when he went on Arsenio.

Once a thing dies, it becomes sad and pathetic -- think of People Marching Into Their Weddings In Humorous Fashion To Popular Songs -- and almost nothing can rescue it, although some THINGs can come back from the dead -- sax solos are one of those THINGs, right now, being slowly resurrected.

In this case, Lip Dubs have taken a lot of body blows, but they're not dead yet. We appear to be at the pinnacle of the Lip Dub era, as evidenced by the fact that I finally watched this:





And it's really very cool.


Also, I can't resist it any more. Screw you, Trilateral Commission:





Can You Sum Up Lip Dubs For People Who Skimmed Through This Post And Just Want A Quick Takeaway?

This guy:





runs his own network; and, has appeared in five commercials, two TV episodes and at least two music videos, among other media appearances. He's also released a couple of CDs.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

THIS is a THING!? Table of Contents:


THIS is a THING?! is my attempt to explain pop culture to you, without my actually having to endure the pop culture on my own; that is, I'll take something that's really popular among other people, and I'll try to explain it to you... but I'm not actually going to invest much*

*any


of my time or energy in watching, listening to, smelling, touching, or otherwise experiencing that thing.

Here are all the THINGS that are:

Instagram

Peeps Dioramas.

Fake Walk-offs from interviews

Lip Dubs.

Planking