Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Best Knock Knock Joke

My nephew is 6 years old now. He’s tall enough that I keep thinking he’s 10 or 11, but he’s only six. And he loves jokes. Which is lucky, because I love jokes. Or lucky, that is, until you realize that kids never get tired of jokes. Tell them one joke:

A guy walks into a bar and says “I’m looking for my friend.” The bartender says “Who’s your friend.” The guy says “He’s got a wooden leg; name’ s Pete. Have you seen him?” The bartender says “I don’t know. What’s the name of his other leg?”

And they want a zillion more.

How come you can’t starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there.

And you have to keep them coming until you run out of jokes and fall back on “Pete and repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?” and you hope they grow tired of it but they don’t.

And also that last joke is not as funny if the kid doesn’t know what “repeat” means.

And that last joke is not funny when the kid tells it to you. I recommend quickly saying “the other guy,” except that then you’ll be just another boring old uncle.

Luckily, I have The Best Knock-knock joke of all time. Little kids love knock-knock jokes, even when they don’t get them. They love “Boo!” “Boo who?” “Don’t cry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” and “Dwayne,” “Dwayne who?” Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning,” and more.

I thought, until I happened, just happened, to be home on one Friday night, that this was The Best Knock-Knock Joke:

Person A: “I’ve got a great knock-knock joke. You start.”

Person B: “Okay. Knock knock.”

Person A: “Who’s there?”

Person B: Jaw drops a little. Stands there dumbly. Laugh at him/her.

That’s a great one. And it can also, sometimes, end the joke onslaught.

But a few years ago—10 – I happened one Friday night to be home. I know, you’re shocked, and so was most everybody, given that I was known in my day as a carouser. (Note: nobody who uses the word “carousing” or any variation thereof to describe “carousing” is a “carouser.”)

(Also note: people who say “let’s party!” or any variation thereof are losers.)

(I'm just saying.)

So I was home on a Friday night, a stunningly rare event, and I happened to turn on the TV and see a short-lived show called “Brother’s Keeper.” (You can read more about it here if you want.) That show didn’t last long, but it made an impact on me that all the seasons of Lost will likely never achieve (and I’m only ½-way through Season 2 so no spoilers!) It gave me The Best Knock Knock Joke.

What I present to you in this nomination is the Best Knock Knock Joke because it allows you to yell a little, act like an animal, interrupt, and at the end of it, it still makes the listener think a minute and then laugh -- it's an intellectual knock-knock joke that involves yelling and animal noises. Plus, kids love it. So, without further ado, I give you the first ever TBOE Players Production of The Best Knock-Knock Joke:

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