An Undead J.R.R. Tolkien Reads My Blog, and other Reader Nominations On The Best Language.

So you know how I said not long ago that the most controversial thing I'd ever written on this blog was that the Olsen Twins are identical?*

*They are, and I can prove it.

And then I said that the most controversial thing wasn't that thing about the Olsen Twins being identical but was instead how Spider-Man is The Best Superhero?

I was incorrect about both of those assertions -- not about the Olsen Twins being identical**

**Just get used to it; they ARE.

And not about Spider-Man being The Best Superhero -- although I may revisit that soon based on something I read recently -- but about the whole "most controversial thing I ever wrote on here."

Because I'd forgotten about The Best Language, a nomination I posted way back in March of 2008 -- a halcyon era, I'd say, except that I don't know what "halcyon" means, so it may not have been halcyon at all, because, as I think about it now, halcyon sounds like it might be the kind of industrial chemical that's used to keep bugs alive long enough for the Trilateral Commission to get them into our peanut butter, because that definitely happens--

and while I forgot about it, others didn't, and they're mad at me.

In all, "The Best Language" has gotten twenty-three comments, and the only one that was even vaguely approving of me was the first one, from Glomgold, who said

Yeah! Pizza is the eatingest kind of food out there! It's meal-able at any hour of the day!

 So, not exactly backing me up on The Best Language (which is Japanese.)

I was reminded of that post by the most recent commenter, Anonymous, who makes a compelling argument:

Arabic is easily one of the best languages in the world. Do your research, genius.

What's interesting about Anonymous' comment (given that it's anonymous, I assume it's Moammar Gadhafi/Qaddafi/Gqadhafyi) is not just that he agrees I'm a genius***

***Sarcasm is hard to communicate in a comment, Anonymous.  I'd think a superintelligent nonloser like you would understand that.

but that he also suggests that I research what was or is The Best Language -- clearly missing the point of this blog, which is that the Olsen Twins are identical.*4

*4 Nope. Not letting go of that.

And also missing the point that I, in fact, have learned Arabic -- I was taught to speak Arabic back in 1994,when I went to Morocco for the summer and spent most of that time (a) speaking Arabic and (b) being caught up in various stages of illness brought on by drinking the water and eating sheep's eyeballs, because I think the Moroccans were taking advantage of me being an ignorant American.

Arabic wasn't the only language nominated in those comments, which I've been remiss in reposting because, frankly, I'd forgotten about the whole thing, probably thanks to all that halcyon I inhaled back then.  (I was quite the partier in 2008.)  But here are some other comments from that post, which you should definitely go read after you see what all the people who are wrong say about it, because I mention Ezra Pound in the original post but none of the commenters bothered to notice that:

Cam said J.R.R. Tolkien said some stuff:

I'm way late to this but J.R.R. Tolkien (who wrote the Lord of the Rings) was a master of languages at Cambridge in England in the early 1900's said the most beautiful languages in the world were Finnish and Welsch which he used to form the elvish language in the lord of the rings. 

But it's not clear if he's nominating them or J.R.R. Tolkien nominated them, so I'll go with the latter and say "J.R.R. Tolkien reads my blog! From beyond the grave!"  And, I realized as I wrote that, that I could probably also capitalize on the latest "trends" in "writing" and add zombies to Lord Of The Rings and make a billion dollars, so while I go do that, here's a different Anonymous -- people really are not willing to go on the record about which language they like -- supporting sanskrit --

have you ever studied sanskrit before. by the way it is the oldest language in the waorld and you can only understand how rich sanskrit is if you know. it is also said to be the mother of all languages and all the languages in the world have taken words from it.you have just studied about 4 to 5 languages and i can speak 6 languages properly . 

And sanskrit  would only have been nominated by someone biblical, so let's go with John The Baptist reads my blog, too, which is almost as good as a ghostly J.R.R. Tolkien, and then let's finish up with a comment which appears to have been left by an ex-girlfriend of mine. (She knows who she is):

your a horrible person, and a dick. You have no respect and no knowledge of the history of the English language. It may not seem appealing to you but it is a great language, its flexible, adaptable, and why the fuck do you care if our alphabet is "boring" the roman alphabet has been a achievement and gratitude of many nations for thousands of years, and the Japanese alphabet is horrible no one has ever learned every character and it has little structure. You just say Japanese is a great language because your some J-tard that dreams to fuck some amine character your more than likely white and live in a English community, respect it. and your probably not going to even approve this or better yet i bet you didn't even read this and don't worry about replying to this cause I'm not going on this site again cause I've never been on it before and if its full of fags like you i dont want to come back, good bye. 

 There's more like that, including someone who wants me to die, on the original post.