A long time ago, in a galaxy that had not yet heard of "Axe Body Spray"... (Star Wars References.)

If there's one question I never thought would be answered in my lifetime, it's this:

What did Lando Calrissian smell like?

But thankfully, I will not go to my grave without knowing the answer to that burning issue, because this exists:



No, that's not the world's worst Star Wars Action Figure (TM); it's a bottle of Eau Lando Cologne, which you can buy for the low, low price of $29.99.

It is, that site says, an exclusive, and a limited edition.

Eau Lando smells like (again, according to that site)

Mandarin warmed with incense and lotus flower, exotic woods, dark violet and sensuous musk

Which is not what I

Dreamed

described in my as-yet-unpublished fan-fic “Lando & Greedo: Space Bail Bondsmen”

thought it would smell like.

That's not the only Star Wars-based cologne out there. There's also this:


But that's not as appealing, without more specificity. Which Jedi would it smell like? That one with the blue head and tentacles? Mace Windu? Yoda?

I hope not Yoda, because I bet Yoda had old man smell. You know the smell: a mixture of Ben Gay and prejudice.